Two folding chairs lean against the fence  theyre covered in cobwebs and lively spiderwebs

I got a couple of black widows sitting with me

and I asked them for a favor

--   Please dont eat your mates while youre here with me

It aint like I got a weak stomach

I just prefer to speak the plain truth

                                                          and if I have to  Ill attest to what Ive witnessed

And while personally I think it may be applicable for some womenfolk who are abused by their men
 

thered be a lot to eat

and I dont think  at least   not to the best of my knowledge

that Betty Crockers got around to printing that recipe

or not in ink  just yet

  

(which isnt to say the eaten wouldnt deserve their just deserts)

 

So the two black widows chased off their amorous mates

--   Later  I promise

they chimed

a promise most males would take

--   Truly  Later

--   Truly Later  Gods Honest Truth

We promise

they said over their grumbling bellies

--   Thank you ladies

I said

trying to devise into which fantastic eyes I was to look to express my sincerest thanks  earnestly

--   Youre welcome

they chimed

My visiting chairs arent used

except by two black widows

they are excellent companions

my solitude is complete and respected

though we havent much to say nor really much in common

and when evening draws near  I artfully excuse myself 

I hear them peal their dinner bells

that their mates take to mean

something altogether different

I cant help but wonder how is it that the Word hasnt spread

                                                                                                   or are Males so thick 

that no matter their species

they always  always    think with their dicks

1715,  Friday,  22  4. 11

I got hung up on what to pay attention to to-day

 

                                                                               urinals  or experts

either I could piss on easily

but because I placed urinals ahead of experts (probably enforced by my inherent prioritising

Re: functionality)  I think Ill rally there a moment

                                                                                              for whatever the reason   

wherever I have found myself recently  I have found urinals lacking

and theyre lacking  besets me  as they have gone missing in what I believe are the most audacious places to become rare

 

Bars

         particularly those venues that are paying more attention to brewing  or the provisioning

of craft beers

                      as an old friendoffriend once told me  his miserable attempt at congeniality

--   You dont buy beer you rent it                                                       

                                                     and two pints mugs of beer in  having to relieve yourself

you find a sloppy toilet  --  not that they should be or that Ive ever pissed all over a lip or not stopped to daub my golden sparkles off it  --  when  --  and not to say they are ever less

sloppy  --  urinals would be more circumspect and effectively closer  to its sloppy source

and  perhaps  alleviating some of maintenance than a squat bowl

if I was a philanthropiss Id donate  nay  not only the longtongued urinals  but also pay for the plumber and matériel for its installation  “ . . . if I was a rich man

Id yubbydibbydibbydibbydibbydibbydibby dum” 

 

theres one place Id ignore

on the Central Coast  among the sticks

management opted to brownglue its three-piece American Standard tank cover back together again

a priceless Humpty Dumpty

but maybe    

                  oh  I digress

now experts

experts have long attracted my attention

for all their expertise (or ludicrous expertease) theyre narrowminded  selfplacating   

Full of themselves

it seems to me they are typically over-optimistic  over-confident  and under-estimate possible adverse outcomes

Grade A victims  of Delusion

and the older Ive grown Ive begun to refer to them as Xperts

                                                                                                  because when I was a kid

X  usually meant you gave it a wide berth

poisons were marked X

booze  in the cartoons  XXX

porn  Triple X  (I still havent figured that one out  not that Ive looked hard into it)

                                                                                                                                 and yet

X  also marked the Spot

  

to be sure the X-spot is far easier to find than that roving and elusive G-spot (but thats another story another frustration and a Great Chase for another time)

were tempted to forgive them

they are the Anointed

were they not

we wouldnt have valued their judgment

 

yet   by their failings  their underestimations

others are held accountable for their wrongs

their Adverse outcomes

their Delusions

                                             

how is that right

their  Oops!  havent provided us any relief

so  I refer to them now as XXXperts

                                                          I figured that one out

2251  Saturday  27  12. 14