I got hung up on what to pay attention to to-day

 

                                                                               urinals  or experts

either I could piss on easily

but because I placed urinals ahead of experts (probably enforced by my inherent prioritising

Re: functionality)  I think Ill rally there a moment

                                                                                              for whatever the reason   

wherever I have found myself recently  I have found urinals lacking

and theyre lacking  besets me  as they have gone missing in what I believe are the most audacious places to become rare

 

Bars

         particularly those venues that are paying more attention to brewing  or the provisioning

of craft beers

                      as an old friendoffriend once told me  his miserable attempt at congeniality

--   You dont buy beer you rent it                                                       

                                                     and two pints mugs of beer in  having to relieve yourself

you find a sloppy toilet  --  not that they should be or that Ive ever pissed all over a lip or not stopped to daub my golden sparkles off it  --  when  --  and not to say they are ever less

sloppy  --  urinals would be more circumspect and effectively closer  to its sloppy source

and  perhaps  alleviating some of maintenance than a squat bowl

if I was a philanthropiss Id donate  nay  not only the longtongued urinals  but also pay for the plumber and matériel for its installation  “ . . . if I was a rich man

Id yubbydibbydibbydibbydibbydibbydibby dum” 

 

theres one place Id ignore

on the Central Coast  among the sticks

management opted to brownglue its three-piece American Standard tank cover back together again

a priceless Humpty Dumpty

but maybe    

                  oh  I digress

now experts

experts have long attracted my attention

for all their expertise (or ludicrous expertease) theyre narrowminded  selfplacating   

Full of themselves

it seems to me they are typically over-optimistic  over-confident  and under-estimate possible adverse outcomes

Grade A victims  of Delusion

and the older Ive grown Ive begun to refer to them as Xperts

                                                                                                  because when I was a kid

X  usually meant you gave it a wide berth

poisons were marked X

booze  in the cartoons  XXX

porn  Triple X  (I still havent figured that one out  not that Ive looked hard into it)

                                                                                                                                 and yet

X  also marked the Spot

  

to be sure the X-spot is far easier to find than that roving and elusive G-spot (but thats another story another frustration and a Great Chase for another time)

were tempted to forgive them

they are the Anointed

were they not

we wouldnt have valued their judgment

 

yet   by their failings  their underestimations

others are held accountable for their wrongs

their Adverse outcomes

their Delusions

                                             

how is that right

their  Oops!  havent provided us any relief

so  I refer to them now as XXXperts

                                                          I figured that one out

2251  Saturday  27  12. 14

Shrinkwrapped

from the getgo he knew she was ripe for the picking

 

hellbound to be Shrinkwrapped

she ran back to them with his words  and hers  their sorted interactions

she vigorously Rorschached the ketchup that blurped onto his shirt at dinner

and to her Shrinks

--   So

what do you think

she peeped

--   What do you think

they answered

whiling her

cajoling her

making her believe 

their make believe

seasoned lightly with pungent psychotropics and their wily psychiatric ways 

--   Aw somebody ask me Ill tell ya

but her Shrinks werent interested in rapping him

let alone trying to wrap him

he wouldnt fit in a bindle or bundle

or boundup in pretty curlicued ribbons and bows

no shimmery sharkskin  shiny undulating wrappingpaper pulled taut

crisp sharp edges and corners held tight

with slick invisible Scotchtape tabs

he was newsprint

or a brown paper bag chaffed by jute or hemp string

 

no Shrinkwrapping in his future

Ever

there was no shaking him out of his tree

tempting him out on a limb and trying to hack it off behind him

no way to worry him

as

a

matter

of

fact

nothing he knew could be manipulated

he was utterly rapless

utterly undraumatic

so very utterly

 

boring

   

1501  Thursday  2  6. 11