the white piece inside his head was welcome

        welcome

                                                                                 

                                                                                                         because it was rare

Usually there was all sorts of things creepin an crawlin

like spiders at walls captured just right by the light an castin fantastic plastic black mad

shadows

thatd creep out everyone but him

and he go into the kitchen and return with small juice glasses and patiently gently cup

the spiders beneath them

wiggle in a white piece of paper between their feet and the walls an make them 

reluctantly retire to the confines of glass

and bottled up unharmed

hed take them outside to safety

because inside lots of people were uncomfortable

an more often than not they chose to either poison the spiders with sprays or smash 

them into unsightly unrevealing Rorschachs

                                                      Because  some big people were fearful of small ugly

spiders

an the way he saw it most big people were pretty ugly themselves an hed have a time

staying himself from beating them with his shoe

then

often it was worth the while not to resist not to take the trouble to restrain himself an 

face the mild rebuke for beating them with his shoe

screaming Ugly!Ugly!

their mild rebuke  their bruised hands over their heads  protectin their heads

screaming Stop!Stop!

Are you Crazy!

an that was usually the end of things

hed stop

theyd recover themselves

get up

an leave

fearin they hadnt seen Crazy  an not wantin any part of it

he was a big proponent of Earthlings

 

Anything Alive on the face of the planet fit the bill 
 

an since much of it didnt have heroes an were seen less-than-human he brought a 

human face heroically in to play an let two-legged Earthlings stand up for themselves on

their own hind legs when they were threatened  or subjugated

--   So  how do you like it

Its not so nice  is it

to-night  this began as a white piece

an for the little it remained

it was nice

2136,  Sunday,  19  10. 14  

He walked in through the front door

as he had a hundred times before and a hundred times before that an a hundred times

before that

he snugged the door shut behind him

his mother stood in the kitchen at the end of the long hall

watching him

he waved

waved his fingers as if his hand were a spider scaling a wall  or if playing a piano

       

--   There you are

Would you like a beer

   

--   No thanks mom

Stop  right  there

No beer

--   No thanks . . .

he wasnt sure hed trust a guy who turned down a beer

I mean I can see the   hesitation   accepting a beer in the morning

but not if my mother offered itDone

if she didnt recognize the time of day that certainly wasnt on me

                                                                                                          Im  Y E S Please

No  I wouldnt push it ask for a shot

though I might with the second beer

there was going to be a second beer  and likely there was going to a third and a fourth

as he had a hundred times before and a hundred times before that an a hundred times

before that

like coming through the front door

but this time was unlike any other time before

before

and after

after wasnt drastically different  the coat rack and mirror in the hall on the wall across

from the cut-off door leading to the basement duck your head or crack your skull  the

formal dining table beyond it in the formal diningroom who the fuck has formal 

diningrooms any more with built-in hardwood buffets and china cabinets and startling

candelabras

and the kitchen beyond

that was exactly like before

they were exactly like before

and he was jealous of them their inanimateness

their not knowing what was different

from before

be-fore

there wasnt a second before the last second that was exactly like the second before

it

he could process that

rationalise-reason it

it wasnt hard

he understood

he  just  didnt  want  to

and the beer in the morning was good and the beer after with a shot was good and the

third beer and the second shot

were good

not better

--   Im going for a walk

--   Could you use the back door please Id rather no one saw we were home

--   Sure

and as he was stepping out the door onto the back porch to snug it behind him he looked

up and saw her standing in the kitchen

watching him

he waved

waved his fingers as if his hand were a spider scaling a wall  or if playing a piano

        

an adagio

0001,  Twosday,  21  10. 14

Its really more pleasant than someone else might think

four days in the mountains packing sleeping under the stars and evenings cooking small

meals over small wood fires

the tender licks of flame  its caress

red coals doing their damnedest to retain the forms they had grown into and were for

uncounted years

likely longer than he or any of their party had lived  added together

and home now

driving four or five hours with windows open  not wanting to smell himself

not the good strenuous hiking

in the shower now

the hot spray slowly beginning cut the grime and efface his stink

the smoke of the wood fires back in his nose

becoming fainter and fainter

his memory retracing his steps

his eyes with memories of their own shuttling quicker and quickeranquicker

and at his feet

the earth he wore running in rivulets to the drain pocked by waterdrops off his long hair

his shins streaked

Fuck he groaned fuck  because itd be a long while again before he have that 

unmitigated sense of godness

before that something inside his chest would swell again

threatening to explode

and he not giving a goddamn if it did

                                                            for then things could crawl over him with the same

abandon he did over the mountains

on its rock slides and dank forests glens and through its fast creeks

home  he was twisting a hot springs over onto its head

and luxuriating beneath it

                                                                

a sylvan washing his back with a rag or sponge would have been real nice

more pleasant than anyone else would think

2308,  Sunday,  19 10. 14