Id seen that damn cat run across her skull redux

Id seen that damn cat run across her skull too many times for her own good

and each fuckin time

despite the bone flint picked out by its claws gripped and running

she thought its hurtling body preternaturally determined her next great thing

ya gonna fight a big old word like that

                                                                 gawddamnright yare

ya might not be able to pronounce it but ya were gonna stand up in front of her

throw yer arms straight out of yer shoulders and holler  Back down girl 

ya were gonna try and stop her

and like that damn whatever cat

shed extend those claws and go up and over around or through ya

no matter how many times yad grab her by the scruff of her neck and hurtle her 

bodily back from where she came

shed bounce like a fuckin rubber ball off a wall gaining centrifugal force and weight and speed

till

eventually

it wouldnt matter

no restraint would

ya was a nonentity the moment that natty cat brokered her mind and convinced her of whatever 

it was she was thinking

the only thing that really hurt ya was the hurt she was feeling when she come back defeated

when she come back crying

inconsolable

ya couldnt lift an edge of that black sun

eventually

only time offered her the consolation shed accept

hey

hey

how ya doing to-day

aint half bad

good

you

me Im better for you aint half bad

youre sweet

I am  Im like honey

Id say honey and not sugar cuz I was sticky like she needed and she didnt have to worry 

about keeping honey 

it keeps itself

0055,  Wednesday,  31  10. 12

under brittle white light

everything smelled of berries

even the pine tar soap I worked into my hands to kill the scent of onions on them

it leaned against my back peering over my shoulder as if it had a right and I had no

privacy

I pushed back against it with the bump and a nudge of my shoulder

working for a little room

vying with it to remove its breath from behind me lapping warmly at my ear

                                                                                 then    because it didnt take any heed

I leaned eversoslightly into the free-standing four-legged sink  

and came around with a vicious elbow

landing it against its temple

the light went zigzag   then silver    and then eversoslightly dimmed

I dont know what happened after that

I went black

                   bitter black

so black nothing dare follow me in

and anything that was with me

cowered and hid in the folds of my crumpled body

                                                                                    there on the cool starspeckled linoleum

hiding like feasted spiders ignoring the tugs and temptations plucking their silks

they had more sense than me

I dont know how long I laid

nobody begged me with ammonia or smelling salts

and the weight at my chest that at last worried me back to consciousness was a

neighbors cat who evidently came in through the broken window over the sink

                                                                                                a tinny-edged starburst standing on two black thin stems

it forgave me for disturbing it  -  rousing and groaning  -  and slinked distracted into

a near corner and watched

                                           its nocturnal eyes thin shining disks

the kitchen was filled with darkness

though I could make out things in it

it didnt contend with where Id been

around me lay broken stoneware plates saucers and cups and scattered bent flatware 

above these latent shadows and incumbent quiet dark there was a hint of laughing

cellophane

and making to my hands and knees I half-expected to be rerouted back to where Id been

I didnt leave

absently my shoulder twitched   my elbow ached

my forehead and face were sticky from making flowers with the windowpane

I was dull

dumb

and keyed up by the faint presence and humor which sounded elastic and brittle at once

1211,  Sunday,  25  5. 14

a shakedown

a shakedown

gone awry

but they wouldnt get what awry meant

both a little too thick

but those who put them up to it

banged the buttons on their cash registers to S O L D

who wanted to do an end-around rather than play it legit

theyd get it

when it got back to them

you want things like this to get backed up

like a toilet

the shit backed up and spilling onto their shoes

their expensive Italian leather shoes

thatll piss them off

not the two thugs they sent that got busted up

a little bit too obvious

a little too over the top

though that was their risk

but the shit on THEIR shoes

the business cards they carelessly tossed into their attaché cases which morphed 

into a steaming turds

thats what gobs up their sudden attention

but only briefly  just long enough to really get their blood percolating

get it hot

up in their eyes

then bringing them down

real cold

using the tire iron on the backs of their skulls

that they had wanted all for you

sometimes thats what greed gets ya

it aint always the wag of a pretty fairway iron in your manicured hands

1725,  Sunday,  2  12. 11