22.4.14



lager
some liked lager
it went down like a drunken fuck without kindness or memory
and either as easy as taking a piss

his dad  he loved lager
a cheap canned lager
it passed his lips as easily as the word nigger
                                                                             which made him scratch his head 
because racism wasnt in his upbringing                                                                  
and he couldnt imagine anything that was unfortunately learned couldnt be unlearned

particularly by a smart man                                                                                             
and his dad exhibited considerable smarts
                                                                            it left him to surmise his grandfather 
was the bigot who perhaps swore his dad to a blood oath
to be unrelenting

it reminded him of black and white photographs of Ku Klux Klan rallies and the young 
childrens faces captured in the flickering torch light or bonfires or bright burning crosses

Knights they called themselves

Knights who hid their identity under floursack hoods
whose photographs reminded him of the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz
                                                                                                  “. . . if I only had a brain”
L. Frank Baum might have been a subtle genius   or he had again given a man far more 
credit that he deserved

hed credited his dad all his life
though  obviously  his objectivity was skewed by being too close to the subject

love is a lousy lens to view anything through

if he forced himself to be dispassionate
the evidence was overwhelming
if he were serving on a jury and instructed a guilty verdict could only be reached if he 
had no reasonable doubts

Knew the mans intention

Knew what the man was thinking at the moment  of the commission  
                                                                                                                     of his crime
he could not be persuaded to vote not guilty


the strict accountability he learned was from his dad
                                                                                          you sleep in the bed you make   

it was so easy


even a child could remember



1830,  Sunday,  11  8. 13     

21.4.14

lovely



he thought they were stars
hewed around his stooped shoulders and mane
they erupted in shunted flares   like abrupt butterfly wings or slender almonds

                                       our eyes play tricks on us if we let them  if we dont call them out
and he always afforded his a dramatic berth
as long as theyre seeing unaided   unalloyed
                                                                                                                       unentertained
he saw curious things that never happened or would exist
and for them a gentle perverse smile twisted onto his face

                                                             their reckoning was held privately inside his head   
         a solemn campfire counsel   a peacepipe smoked between them

his eyes always felt they existed in toto before his brain and by that surly lance stabbed
in the surfwetted beachhead of sentient existence  it always ran separate of the rest of
him

it placed its ample bets with the freshly made neocortex   mesmerized by the fantasy of
its vastly corrugated face 
they becoming faceted like insect compoundeyes  
and through the paleocortex as mediator they argued against the archicortex 
                                                                                                                        but it smelled
his eyes claimed  even before they were presented
the archicortex bore the mock of memory and recalled this reoccurring ride time and time
again

                  and braced
his eyes shrugged
conceded
and departed counsel

they went back to what they did best
fabricating




they werent stars
they were an array of tinshaded soft lamps backlighting a guitarist
                                                                 through his eyes  a romantic bloodhued mist


lovely
if lovely isnt true
does it really matter


2018,  Thursday,  14  8. 13         

20.4.14

Old Habits



. . . old habits die hard
they crawled across his bare shoulderand throat     and into his beard like a hairy spider

hes bound tightly
he has to endure it
he hears more
than ever he thought he would

as the words begin
he tries to humour himself:
                                           nuns are tough to kill off  so gawddamn selfless   hard to find 
anything of self to inflict lethally
                                        it fails

Old Habits are conspiratorial   and liars
                                                                                                                 they dont ever die
we die first and take them over the edge into our graves kickin and screamin
those handfuls of dirt mourners toss in after us graveside choke their miserable voices in 
their agape throats

Faulkner  -  as usual  -  said it best:  “The past is not dead, it is not even past.”

and by his thoughtful reckoning
relaxed  stroking his beard
running the backs of his knuckles on its stiff whiskers
the line was either the Reason
                                                  or the Excuse
                                                                          or each a smokescreen to hide behind   
obscuring the true answer

why do you drink somuch
why are you sucha bitch
why are you sobent on killing yourself
why are you a prick

they eat the lines like a canapés or hors d'oeuvres  a martini olive off a toothpick or mojito
strands of muddled mint
enough to fill their mouths  and chew
impolite to speak around
but not enough for sustenance

eyes blink or eyes are averted and the Moment is lost in ones ears
                                                                                                            old habits die hard
and dont hold an echo  sound like a flat coin dully fallen in soft earth

                                                                                                                    reprieved            
the fictions will continue until the next brief intersection


why do you have to be like that . . .


1124,  Wednesday,  14  8. 13