19.3.14



he was reading of Christian relics
in particular the Mandylion the first ikon of the Eastern Orthodox Church  
an image of Christs face an Acheiropoieta: made without hand
said to be received by King Abgar of Edessa

it is believed Christ sent a reply to Abgarus declining the Kings invitation to visit 
rather when he finished his earthly labor he would send an apostle to him

Thaddeus the first a disciple of John the Forerunner John the Baptist one of Christs seventy apostles was who came to the King 
          the words of Jesus cured Abgarus of leprosy

recently it was written that scientific tests run on the Mandylion revealed ancient pollen found among its weave was of Palestinian descent


from this deep subterfuge he was altered by an old woman who entered the radiologists antechamber he was seated in
a fragile woman who wore a startled expression upset by a black womans Fats Waller ringtone
her skin was translucent paperthin liverspotted 
her neck was furrowed by a coquettish manner reminiscent of a peevish hen denied
grain and sustenance by other mawkish hens who were denigrated in their turn by older ones

perched on her beak she wore large blood-hued rimmed glasses
below it her mouth ruminated emitting more halting sounds than words 
unless she held forth on medicine
jabbering under her breath at her caretaker
“This goddamn prying and prying
Havent I filled out enough forms in my life ad nausem
What more could they possibly want or need to know than what Ive already posited
What were they doing running cross-references  indexing  trying to expose me in some kind of lie
The only lies revealed about me were the lies told of me  Im no liar
Im feeling like Im signing away everything I have
And I havent much
And what I have left   
Id rather die than part with”

her caretaker was ingenious
she backed her off and backed her off the perilous ledge the old woman stood on leering over
the old woman then began blinking  rapidly blinking her eyes 
tears filling them
tears of anger and rage of memories forlorn nearing forgotten or Violated 

"I was just a little girl 
just a little country girl  innocent  given over to a man who took me to the city promising me beautiful things a better life
I didnt know any better
my parents knew him
knew him to be an okay-Joe 
he always had cash money in his pant pockets
dressed real well  always the Style in magazines
a quick pleasant smile  
a broad hand across my fathers back as he slapped him and called him pal 
telling him he was awright too 
he just didnt catch the breaks that he had 
he told my Paw ‘You had to be in the right place at the right time buddy And the city was where you had to be 
The city gave you the breaks HAR  hell  the farm just breaks you'"

“Hes alright darling” my father said “Hell take good care of you or hell have to answer me

“He took me to Chicago not Saint Louis  And he had his way with me when he was drunk and filthy Filthy 
Then he left me
He said there were lots of heifers and fillies to fuck that would flock to his fists full of green money cash money  
Lots of Daddys backs to pound and appease
Fucking hicks  That was exactly what they were and where he was going 
Fucking  He told me to my face FUCKING  How do you say that to a woman
How do you punch her and turn her inside out with lies when . . . when . . shes filled with nothing but trust . . with . with nothing but caring . . . nothing but what she learned growing up"

her glasses magnified the violation in her eyes  a ferocious antagonism magnified her helpless fury


the technician called his name
he acknowledged her closed his book rose from his chair and walked across the room to her
at the doorway leaving the old woman and her confidante at his back
“Good morning” he said

“Good morning” she said

entering the staging chamber he thought whatever procedure they were going to perform on the old woman was doomed to fail

those things inside her were leadshielded

she was still alive because she had been dead for so long

0933,  Tuesday,  3  9. 13

18.3.14



its not often youre invited out for dinner then asked for half
when youre not half
and particularly when the other half was liberal in their dinner selections
and drinks
but to your credit you saw it coming
you had an inkling it was coming
and now there wont be a next time 

try as he may he struggled to remember the saying
though he could always remember Bushwhacker butchering it: “Fool me once, shame on
— shame on you  Fool me — you cant get fooled again . . .”  the flummoxed
compassionate conservative riffing The Whos Wont Get Fooled Again:
           “Change it had to come / We knew it all along . . But the world looks just
              the same / And history aint changed . .. Ill get on my knees and pray /
                                               We dont get fooled again”
                                                                                                   from the album Whos Next
hed bought the vinyl when it was released in 71 and marveled at the cover art  the band
had pissed on a concrete monolith and were stepping away buttoning their flies
that image triggered in him the want to fly to the moon and piss on 2001s shiny black
monolith
                  thereafter   anything black and shiny he was tempted to piss on it 

the vogue then was shiny black lacquered coffee tables and ends
he remembered well   and in particular he remembered
                                                                                          “You dont have enough money
not to have morals” the bitch still kneeling at his knee  propositioning him in front of her
husband

“Id love to suck your cock” is how it began
he wasnt square
he loved having his cock sucked as much as any guy
she ran her hands up the outsides of his thighs  gripped him at his hips  and wolfishly
eyed his crotch
her husband smiled  nearly as wolfish  and said to him “She sucks cock exceptionally
well”
            though   in his estimation   it seemed to him her husband only had his cock
sucked by his wife  and if one is to have a rigorous opinion or truly evaluate an
exceptional cock-sucking one would have to have had enjoyed a wide and veritable
panel of dilettante cocksuckers
simply sucking cock was not exceptional
any more than servilely lapping a woman between her legs
                                                                                                Did she turn him inside out
Did she shake her head  Did he yank by her hair  Did she stare up into his eyes as she
choked herself on his cock  Did tears well up in her agog eyes and run down her cheeks
like bullets

he took her face  not unkindly  it was not an unattractive face  in his hand  and holding
it gently by her chin he said “I bet you would  But no thanks  Im uninterested”    

“Fuck you” she snarled

“Sweetheart  If Im not interested in you sucking my cock why would I want to fuck you”

she tore her head from his hand and glared at her husband “What are you going to do
about this”
but Bill was a Bill and Bill wasnt gonna get tore up defending her immoral honor 
silently he communicated  She must understand  They had more money than that
Bill had him bounced by three bartenders  juicing them a c-note apiece 

a couple of days later - at his very first opportunity - Bill apologized to him for
upholding his wifes honor

but none of this before he climbed their broad marble staircase
found their bedroom
and standing on their California King he pissed on their black lacquered headboard
then before disembarking
he pissed on their black lacquered footboard too
neither was chaffed by jute bondage rope as was lasciviously rumored 

lesson learned  hed never have enough money to be immoral



that saying    ah yes   he remembered
it was:
                     “Fool me once  shame on you  Fool me twice  shame on me”

why the Presidents speechwriters couldnt get that straight   not that they didnt 
ol Bushwhacker probably went off script 
but in Montana  as he assumed in Texas  if you got off the marked trail you step in shit

and this President was exceptional at stepping in shit



0011,  Sunday, Father’s Day,  16  6. 13