4.3.14

Sometimes



Sometimes
we havent the sense of a child
it weaned out of us
beat out of us
for the necessary education we must have
to articulate
                  the inarticulate
to make sense of nonsense
                                          and nonsense of sense

to compete
in a fixed game
fixed in as many ways as one is taught
                                                              to imagine
or fixed in imagined ways

Sometimes
we havent the sense of a child
and forget our wonderment
our crazy curiosity
the knowing-better than opening our mouths
                                                                     to crow proper accusations
when they are rudely due

we forget to play hide-and-seek
hiding in full-view
unable to be seen 
camouflaged in obviousness

Sometimes
we havent the sense of a child
to see all the other children around us
striving not to be seen
playing games of make-believe
                                                so hard

they believe their make-believe
unhappiness is happiness
unhealthiness is healthiness
they believe the dictation they take is their own

Sometimes
we havent the sense of a child
and we forget the blue day surrounding us
the yellow sun is a pat of butter
there is fragrance in a flower
                                             in rainwater
                                             tears
or hear the sound of a smile


We are odd
a lot of the time



 
over Nevada, day-between-two-Ts,  10  3. 10

3.3.14

two aspirants



(admittedly    he was eavesdropping)



whad he just say

I think ya herdem right

awright   whadya think ya herdem say

ah   sumpin bout two   uh  go ta bed   an  callem indamornin

yah I agree bout da two    but two wha

yahImizzdat

awright   wha I herd   was diz . . .



ya gonna say

I am  Um just thinkin it thru ofor I open my mout



ya gonna say

yah



yah

yah   I think whad I herdem say   was take two aspirants   drink plenty o booze  go ta bed   
an callem indamornin

yah

whacha mean yah whas an aspirant   let alone two

well   if ya gonna take two of em to bed drinkin plenty o booze   Id say bot aspirants is wemen 
hot for ya an willin to share yer skinny ass between em

hah   I aint never gonna find one let alone two

mebbe ya share da booze befor ya get yer ass in bed widdem   but don never callem aspirant    
I swear ya call dem dat dey aint goin nowhere near yer bed no matter how tore up dey is    
I woodnt   not ya call me aspirant

ya aspirant   HAH  Dont wan yer ass in my bed

HAH yerself

so     ya think dats it

yahIdo

take two aspirants   drink plenty o booze   go ta bed   an callem indamornin  
why my callin

to brag  methink

methink

dat Shakespear methink   I think aspirants like dat shit




(he had no words    he wagged his head and laughed quietly)


 

1149,  Moanday,  19  11. 12

2.3.14

I just said goodbye to a friend



I just said goodbye to a friend
His wife died late in the Fall
It was snowing
His son returned that Winter and told him he felt it was best for him that he move to 
Washington State to be with him
So he and his wife could better care for him
What I asked
I knew he had cared for his wife during her long illness
I knew his heart broke when she died
I often saw him sitting in his studio after her death
He wasnt working
The potbelly stove was cold and unlit 
I never saw him in his studio when he wasnt feverishly at work with his paintbrushes 
and oils and the stove grinning with flames
He was more fun to watch than cartoons

I had known him since I was eight and took on the neighborhood paper route
I knocked on his Prairie Avenue door late one winter afternoon and introduced myself
Im your new paperboy  Is there anything I can do to make the Chicago Tribune
and the Chicago Sun-Times delivery better for you
I know you know young man that I only receive the Trib
Yes sir  but I also said  Though you might be better informed if you knew both sides 
of the story
A smart guy huh
Yes sir I read both papers myself
(and I did  I read them as I walked my delivery route pulling my red wagon stacked 
with papers behind me)
He bought a subscription to the Sun-Times
Young man
Yes sir
Do you cut lawns
I do I said I cut lawns Edge sidewalks Rake leaves Shovel snow too
He told me if I would like to make a couple of bucks to come back on the weekend 
and I could cut his lawn
Yes sir
We shook on it

I stood on the street curb and watched his face through the cab window as he and 
his son were to drive to O’Hare for their flight to Seattle Washington
I had to look up Seattle in my National Geographic magazines
It looked like a pretty place  A place where he could paint his landscapes again
He called them impressionistic
As the cab pulled away he waved wistfully
Behind his eyeglasses he was weeping
I hadnt seen a man cry before
He really touched me
Men didnt cry
I cried as I walked home
We had talked before he left about seeing each other again
We didnt
It wasnt that we didnt mean it
But he wasnt well and I was only twelve



I liked him best whenever we talked outside together
He knelt on one knee and called me young man
He said that was called mutual respect
He said You know inside me  Im no older than you



2329,  Twosday,  1  1. 13